I’m not proud to admit that I’ve sold myself cheaply before but I need to admit the truth so that I can move on with my recovery.
scene: standing room only crowd but I don’t recognize anyone since nobody is wearing black or heavy-framed glasses
Moderator: Is there anyone new here tonight that would like to share?
Me: (standing) Hi everyone, my name is Bob … and I am a hooker-architect.
Group : (un-enthusiastically and in monotone) Hi Bob, welcome.
Me: Well, I guess it all started when I graduated from college back in 1992. You know, the economy wasn’t all that great back then and despite my un-validated high opinion of myself, there wasn’t a line of employment suitors waiting for me.
Group: (grumbling, nodding heads in agreement while looking at the floor)
Me: I got my first job because my Mom knew someone who knew someone who needed some help. I met with the guy – he was currently working out of a closet in his house – and he sorta interviewed me at fast food restaurant. He designed retail spaces and he an older gentleman, almost 10 years older than me. I had one studio in school where we had to design a retail project – I hated it – it was my least favorite studio but the teacher really seemed to like me, (sighing) … maybe more than he should have. Based on the personal relationship I developed with this teacher, I did very well in this studio.
Group: (murmuring to each other) Did he just say what I think he did?
Me: I knew what he wanted so I gave it to him … a store full of spacial experiences that focused on..(swallows loudly) … fancy handmade china. I didn’t want to do a store that sold plates and Lladro figurines, but he loved it, he was soooo into it. I suppose this was the first time I realized what I was capable of doing. I was okay doing a job I didn’t want just to make someone else happy so that I could benefit.
Group: That’s where it starts – in the schools!
Moderator: (standing and waving arms) Everyone, please! Settle down! It’s okay, Bob, please … continue.
Me: Ahh … So, uhm … anyways, during this time I learned all sorts of ‘tricks’ – you know, the stuff “clients” pay extra for. I became skilled in the art of metal studs and drywall, custom cabinetry, luxurious finishes, cantilevered soffits and storefront systems that don’t have to keep water out. We’ve all been to these places before! Malls … architectural sin is peddled everywhere, strangers are lurking in entryways hawking their goods and services, trying to get you to come in with a promise of getting something “special”.
Group: That is disgusting … but we’re here for you brother!
Me: I was a part of this world for years until I met a special woman who got me out … Michelle (sigh) … I thought she had saved my life and that I could go back to just being an architect. She did, for a while, but it’s hard to leave that sort of life once you’ve had a taste.
Group: There are always setbacks on the road to recovery Brother, we’ve all been there! You can beat this!
Me: There have been other jobs I’ve taken – almost always for the money. I know that I should turn down jobs where the clients want to cut down a tree, or when they aren’t interested in being carbon neutral. I know this! I … (breaking down sobbing – whispering) I can’t go on … can I stop here for tonight?
Moderator: (whispering in my ear, arm around my shoulders) You did great. (loudly) Let’s give our new friend a warm welcome during coffee and donuts after we’re done here. Is there anyone else willing to share this evening?
New person: Hi everyone, my name is Ted …………. and I do multi-family.
